Sincerity
by Kiertorata
Summary: Sirius has a lot to cope with during his final year at Hogwarts: family issues, fights with friends, a growing crush on one of his best friends... Sincerity is a story of trust, friendship, love, jealousy and depression. Sirius/Remus


**Prologue**

It was the first day of school, and Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was as crowded as ever. Students were everywhere, chatting excitedly with their classmates, saying last goodbyes to parents and siblings, and waiting impatiently for the arrival of the train. The anticipation and energy was so high that if someone got knocked out, it would not have been all that surprising. It was even more unbearable to Sirius Black, who had both the desire to find his friends and a monstrous headache. Hearing his friends, even catching a glimpse of them, through the enormous crowd of people was proving immensely difficult.

Sirius gave a small growl. He had instantly given up the thought of calling their names; it would only make his throat sore, and chances were that even the people next to him wouldn't hear. That left only one option: plummet into the crowd and start a hopeless search. Before he did so, he decided to at least shift to a more visible place; after all, he probably wasn't very noticeable in the shadow the small canopy offered.

He took a few steps out of the rear, but stopped almost at once with a great groan. He turned around to face a scrawny black-haired boy with a sneaky-looking face. "Look, Regulus, I don't care a bit that you don't have any friends here, okay? I'm not going to tolerate you following me like a bloody shadow the whole day!" Sirius said acutely at the smaller boy. "Go on now! Leave!" He had already had to endure the little idiot for the whole trip to the station. His parents had decided to stay home, and Sirius had been left in charge of Regulus. As much as he hated his brother, he had brought him here, so now Regulus could do his part and turn invisible.

Regulus glared at him from under his dark fringe and answered in an equally angry manner, "I was just leaving! It's not like I'd stay in _your_ company longer than I have to, anyway."

The younger boy took off, pulling his trunk after him with a great deal of difficulty and walking with as much pride as the heavy luggage allowed. Sirius scowled after him and returned to his task in a much worse mood than before. Yelling at Regulus had brought back the image of home, a place Sirius didn't care to think about now that he was finally away from the horrid place.

He had been forced to return home for the summer. It had been strange. He had run away the summer before – for good, he had thought – to stay with James. He even started a summer job to earn money for his own place. He had been positive that his parents would not contact him; after all, weren't they glad to get rid of their disgrace of a son?

He had been wrong. Not entirely, for he was able to spend one whole summer completely free of his family. But on the first day of his seventeenth summer, the odd letter arrived. The letter requested, no, _forced_ him to come back home. It had been pure blackmail. "_If you are not here in a week, we will come and retrieve you_," the postscript had read, and Sirius had felt a strange sureness that they would actually do it.

He was not yet sure why he had returned. It had been responsibility, he had claimed at first. He had come of age in March, and he had supposed he had to do his last good deed as their pitiful child and visit the old bastards one more time. But the explanation just didn't quite satisfy him. He wasn't the sort of person to pay visits to people whom he disliked out of plain duty.

Even more bizarre than his unaccountable behaviour in the situation was the visit itself, simply due to the lack of bizarreness in it. There had been nothing deviant of commonness in the summer holiday. His parents were the same evil idiots they always had been. They had their daily fights with him, which always ended up in the shatter of something breakable, and Sirius storming away. He would either retreat outside or into the quiet of his room, which would soon be disturbed once again by some stupid pureblood topic, leading to disagreement and eventually another fight.

Sirius had sworn so many times that he would pack and leave the next day to stay with James or Remus. But every time an owl from them came, their letters suggesting he come and stay, he would suddenly feel it unfair to intrude again into their summer holidays. Yes, that summer he had to bear the annoyance of being home.

The only times that had made Sirius somewhat suspicious were the quiet moments, when he, out of the corner of his eye, would notice his father looking at him in an oddly assessing way, as if he were choosing prey. The expression would be gone in a blink of an eye, and in its place, the usual cold sneer. Sirius would sneer back.

The sound of a familiar shout amidst the multitude of voices brought him back to reality. Sirius glanced up and grinned as he noticed Peter and James making their way toward him some ten yards away. "Oy, Sirius, we're here!" James shouted, his face matching Sirius's grin. Sirius raised his hand to wave to him, but he felt someone's hand thump on his shoulder before he had the chance to do so. He turned around rapidly to face familiar hazel eyes.

"Hey," Remus greeted with a soft smile.

"Geez, Remus, you can't just creep up on people like that!" Sirius said, sounding both mocking and delighted at the same time, making Remus laugh. Sirius laughed too, for the first time that day and, he suddenly realized, the whole month.

The two other boys caught up with them. "Hurry up, guys, or we won't get a compartment!" James said excitedly, slapping both of them brotherly on the shoulders. All of the boys laughed at James's blunt way of greeting, and Sirius only then noticed the train that had emerged with a cloud of puffy smoke. Remus gave Sirius one last smile, before following James into the train.

"Did your parents totally kill you?" James questioned during their stride through the corridor, in search of an empty compartment.

"Nah, they were okay, I guess," Sirius answered, shrugging. "But it still sucked being home for the hols."

Remus, who walked next to him, looked at him sympathetically. He knew how much Sirius despised his parents, and he was the only one of the Marauders who could truly understand, his condition at home not being the greatest either. Ever since being bitten at six years old, he had never gotten to experience real love from his parents. He wasn't very wanted at home, just like Sirius. His parents hid it well, but Remus could see in their eyes that they were uncomfortable, maybe even a little scared around him.

They finally reached an empty room, and Peter slid the door open. The very instant they took seats, the conversation faded off. They looked at each other in an almost competitive manner, trying to make out any differences that had occurred in the others' appearance during the summer. Then the awkwardness left as quickly as it had come, and seconds later, they were talking loudly of their holidays and the upcoming term.

"Wonder if Filch is still angry about the extra-strong Dungbombs?" Peter pondered.

"You bet he is!" Sirius answered. "He knew it was us, even though he couldn't prove it. He'll probably have come up with dozens of new rules to torment us!"

"Funny how Dumbledore was on our side," Remus frowned thoughtfully. "He must have known it was us."

"Bet he's just as tired of the old grump as we are," James grinned. "But anyway, it's our last year and we want it to be a blast, right? Wait till you see the Deluxe Dungbombs I got from Diagon Alley!"

They all laughed manically along with James, and Sirius felt happiness spread through his body. He was finally on his way to Hogwarts, his only true home, after a torturous two months.

The journey was about halfway over when the door slid open. A head of red peeked in. It scanned the space anxiously, but relaxed when it saw who were in it.

"Whew, it's you. I've been to nearly all the other compartments," Lily smiled at James, "but I should have guessed that you're in the noisiest one."

Sirius, Peter, and Remus exchanged astonished looks. It wasn't a secret that James had been head over heels in love with the Gryffindor girl for ages. And it also wasn't a secret that, until now, Lily hadn't spoken a pleasant word to him.

"Hello, Lily," James said cheerfully. He made sure not to answer the wondering looks of the other boys. One could easily notice that he was enjoying himself immensely with this new secret.

"Hello, James," Lily replied pleasantly. "Remus. Sirius. Peter," she added awkwardly. The three boys nodded back. As much as they liked Lily, they were eager to get the green-eyed girl out and finally find out what was going on. Lily stayed for a while and chatted with the boys until her impatient friend appeared in the doorway, meaning it was time for her to leave.

"Wow. Since when has she spoken to you nicely?" Peter asked respectfully after the door had closed.

James extended his answer on purpose. "Hmm… Well, you could say that we've stayed in touch."

"Oh," Remus said, raising his eyebrows. "Did you write to each other during the summer?" He was surprised, but happy that James and Lily had finally made a move. It was about time that their _situation _progressed.

"And she doesn't hate you anymore?" Sirius asked, bewildered. "Are you dating?"

James became serious. "No, we aren't. And you shouldn't keep your hopes up on that. I don't think she wants to be more than friends. She probably doesn't even like me."

At that, Remus smiled at him doubtfully. "James, you prat. She wouldn't have accepted you as a friend if she didn't like you," Remus said, hitting the taller boy playfully on the head. "And anyone who doesn't have at least a tiny bit of interest wouldn't have looked at you all lovey-dovey like that."

"Really?"

"Oh God, Prongs, when have you given up on her before? Never. So how can some sudden friendship stop you?"

"Well…argh, you're right, I could never give up on her," James said finally with an admitting smile, "Frantic and fierce though she is, I could never let anyone else take her! I love her!"

The rest of the Marauders rolled their eyes at the line they heard every two weeks, but were truly happy for their friend, who, in their opinions, deserved the one he loved more than anyone else.

"Alright Prongs, that's enough of your love life. Who's up for a game of Exploding Snap?" Sirius asked, and the rest of them whooped eagerly as an answer.

The marvellous September sky shone with an honourable amount of stars, as they stepped into the Great Hall. _At least a million_, Sirius pointed out, taking a diminutive glance at the enchanted ceiling. The four boys took their seats with the rest of the Gryffindors and waited for the Sorting Ceremony to begin.

"Hey, Padfoot," James said suddenly, "isn't your little brother starting his first year?"

Sirius darkened instantly. "Regulus? Yeah, he is. And I'd bet my life that that little squirt will tattle about everything I do to our parents." Just the thing Sirius didn't feel like being reminded of. He glanced up, seeing the tiny first years being led into the Hall by their strict Transfiguration Professor, Minerva McGonagall. He noticed Regulus conversing with a few nasty-looking brats. It seemed that his brother had already made the friends with the "wrong sort."

His thoughts were interrupted by the familiar voice of their Headmaster. "Welcome all to a new year at dear old Hogwarts," Dumbledore started his speech, and the chatter in the Hall faded.

They were making their way toward Gryffindor Tower, and Sirius was feeling gloomy. He felt Remus place a hand soothingly on his back. "You knew he would be sorted into Slytherin," Remus said comfortingly. "It wasn't a surprise."

"I know," Sirius answered, groaning. "But I still feel pissed about it. Mother will be thrilled, and I'll get a novel-length letter about the reasons why Regulus is the perfect son and I'm not."

"Well, think about the bright side! At least the little brat isn't in Gryffindor bothering us!" James exclaimed, making Sirius laugh.

"I suppose that's true. Speaking of Gryffindor, the usual butterbeer, spin-the-bottle, welcome-back ritual will be awesome!"

"This time we've gotta get Remus out of his clothes!" James continued enthusiastically.

"Why me?" Remus cried, failing to hide his grin. "Pete didn't strip last time either!"

"Hey! Don't even try to make them jinx _my clothes_ off!" Peter shouted at Remus, horrified at the suggestion.

They heard footsteps behind them, and they all turned around. "Hey," Lily smiled, a little out of breath after running to catch up with them. "I was wondering if you'd like to join me and the girls, James?" she asked.

James grinned guiltily at his friends. "Um…you wouldn't mind, would you?" he asked with a forgiving smile. "I'll catch up with you laterI promise."

Remus and Peter looked at Sirius to get an answer. They knew how much the boy had waited to get to Hogwarts and finally see his friends, and it was quite obvious that Sirius was struggling to hide the disappointment creeping up on his face. They didn't want to do anything to increase the irritation.

"Yeah, sure, you do what you want, James," Sirius finally said, and the messy-haired boy beamed at him, not noticing the slightly hurt tone in his friend's voice. He and Lily rushed through the doorway.

Sirius felt a bit let down. He had waited for Hogwarts for the whole damn summer and he wouldn't even get to spend the first nightthe night that was usually filled with sweets, laughter and mischievous plans for the most gruesome prankswith all of his best friends. He sighed. What would happen if Lily and James started dating? Would James stop spending so much time with Sirius and the other Marauders?

Sirius felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked to his side and saw Remus watching him with a sympathetic smile. "We'll get to talk to him later, okay? He won't be with Lily the whole night."

Sirius smiled back and a funny tingle rose up inside him. He got strangely cheerful when Remus looked into his eyes. "Yeah, I bet if he tried to stay, the girls would kick him out…Lily in the lead!" They both laughed loudly and followed Peter, who had already started to make his way up good old, respectable Gryffindor Tower.


End file.
